I told myself…

by redrose416

Today was another REALLY awful day. Wonderfully enough, my students made it better. However, I’m absolutely exhausted. Emotionally, physically, spiritually.

You know, in the past, this has ALWAYS happened when I’ve been on the road to something I’m supposed to be doing with my life. When Father approves, Adversary gets nosy and steps right in.
It’s been a little while since it’s happened, and I do remember, several months ago, thinking audibly about waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Dangit, Adversary. You suck.

He really knows how to catch us off guard when things are feeling like they’re goign in the right direction.

Yesterday, it was SO wonderful to be in a classroom with actual string players again. Kids who were watching me, eager to learn. It was empowering, and it reminded me of my love for directing musical ensembles. I felt reinvigorated, ready.

Then this mornign happened. And it became VERY hard, today, to remember that energy, that excitement, that love.

I listened to a Conference talk by Peter Johnson called “Power to Overcome the Adversary”. It really helped to get knocked back to my senses…I realized what was going on. It didn’t help my mood or my exhaustion, but it did help me understand. And that’s the first step to remedying the situation.

Oh friends, how I wish I had the energy to snap myself out of this hard place.
At least I won’t let it push me any farther. Thanks for that, bro. Johnson.

Tonight, I need to get some singers together for Sunday. And find a piece to play. And one for Scott.
Here we go with life…

❤

K